The coach is seen as an individual who gives technical instruction, motivation, etc., but there are other ways of coaching. Personally, I have been coached by individuals I’ve never even met. I have absorbed their attitude and demeanour, and then copied their skills until I have acquired them myself. Only when I have verified those skills myself do I take them on or discard them.
For example, I used to watch the likes of Mike Tyson and other fighters. He was a technical coach for me in boxing. The idea is to chose someone who demonstrates the quality you want to embody and then mimic them. Often it is a bad idea to take there whole persona as a model, because you then you take on their flaws too. People often think this is better than facing themselves, who they consider more flawed, but in the long run you simply limit your own progression by doing this. Who you choose will obviously depend on your stage of development and what you want to copy. Children do this with role models, but it is far from childish.
A good coach is someone who understands things on a high level, and who strives to become a living example of what they teach. They are a true role model. It isn’t someone who gets paid by the hour just to repeat what they’ve been told on some course. Just think of the disappointment so many followers experience when they realise their role model, who they poured all their trust into, ended up a womaniser or a drunk. Of course this is the reality for many people thrust into the limelight, but even the slightest discrepancy in standards can have profound and lasting effects on those who were once inspired by them. So for me, I don’t judge them, I just don’t want an example to follow that is less than inspiring or upholds the highest standards. Thats the only example I want.
If you can’t find anyone worthy in the current crop of gurus around town, then it is often better to use someone you’ve never met. Even if they’re now dead. Every time you are trying to learn from their example, for instance in their instructional videos, ask yourself, “What would their advice be to help me improve?” or “I’m not good at this, how would they do it better?”. The more material they have published the better, so that you can get a good idea of their character through their work. You can enter into the spirit of what they do and know them better than someone who is simply pretending, even if they are very familiar to you.
The coach should demonstrate what is true, not according to what they think might sound appealing but according to what they know. So rather than deciding that you know best, it is often better to learn from somebody who is better informed. This is true humility, not the “yes sir, anything you say” humility where you are secretly grinding your teeth at their demands. There’s no value in this fictional display of subservience, anyone can do that. And that’s why it’s important to seek out the very best, so that you don’t undermine your own high standards.
Personally I often doubt myself and my methods. But this is a good thing. It causes me to seek out new ideas from better informed people within their discipline. It is impossible to doubt the truth and the best examples of it within their field. It’s subservience to truth rather than the ego of individuals.
Whatever you learn it must be adapted to your vocation and ideals. For example, there is no point in learning pure boxing if you are going to compete in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). Yes you will want to learn the skills of boxing, but they must work in the context of MMA. This is the true application. Equally, if you want to focus on boxing you can in fact learn some universal truths by mastering it. It then becomes easy to pick up wider skills if you have a deep understanding on one discipline. It is also important to pick a discipline because you can then practice a small set of skills which contain everything you need to know, rather than getting lost in thousands of details. It’s impossible to focus properly otherwise. But you need to know what you want, and then focus on the truths contained within the discipline. With deep knowledge of your discipline, it will then be easier to ascertain whether something external to it is authentic or not.
Many people think that a martial arts coach is some despot who imposes himself on others. In fact, there only real goal is to reveal the truth contained in their discipline and to make the student aware that finding this is entirely up to them themselves. Obviously the exercises will differ from expert to expert, but there aren’t varying fundamental truths. The methods and exercises are simply a way of conveying truth according to the coaches vocational choice. In fact it’s possible to learn the truth of things through something totally unrelated to your discipline. Mastering a discipline does not come by repeating some routines over and over again, or asking a master to give you a secret technique. It comes by a long process of gradual discovery ceaseless self evolution.
Many people give up martial arts after a few years, or only look at peripheral concerns, like technique, or bowing at the right angle. And who can blame them, who wouldn’t get tired of this sort of meaningless activity! In fact many people think that by getting every detail absolutely correct, it will lead them to power, respect and satisfaction, and to get this they’d rather forget about a quest for perfection or truth. By all means go through all these motions, but it is the long range goals which should be the focus. And those require constant development and work, through your chosen discipline, to love and become more and more engaged in your practice. In this way you will never become tired or fed up and in the process it is impossible not to improve.
Many people aren’t interested in perfection because it is impossible. It doesn’t matter if it’s impossible, because even when you fall short you should still aim high. And that’s why I recommend only following the most excellent examples you can find, the more the better, rather than compromising with mediocrity. Such people are of course rare and you’ll have to seek them out but it can and has been done.
In many Asian societies a lot of emphasis is placed on reverence of the master. In the West we don’t do that so often. This has nothing to do with the fallacious idea of the genetic superiority of Western man or his superior strength and willpower. It is probably due to the competitive nature of individualism in the West, it is dog eat dog. And whilst competition can bring out the best in people, it is obviously foolish to place trust in a competitor who is playing the game of deception and domination. But at the same time, there are individuals with broader considerations, and I suggest you seek them out. Why not devote your time and energy to them and what they have to offer if they are sincere and worthy? Think of them as father figures if you like.
There’s no shame in humbling ourselves before someone with vaster experience and knowledge than us. This is a better solution than simply paying the most advertised and charismatic man on the market who is simply looking to exploit the masses. Such individuals are hard to seek out simply because those around them don’t understand their motivations. It is almost as if they are insulted by having to waste their time and energy appealing to that which does not demonstrate any high value. It is often those individuals who are the best at what they do, because their practice is so fulfilling they simply don’t have time for empty victories over the ignorant. And they are also aware that the expert cannot do the learning for the student, so to imply this with fancy slogans is a transgression of a fundamental law.